Johnnie Walker Platinum Label. Eh?

Johnnie Walker Platinum Label

Yes, we are as ecstatic as you at the news of drinks giant Diageo (the same company that tried to assassinate us twice already only to find their ninjas’ heads delivered to the doorstep of their HQ in Mordor each time) adding yet another label colour to their already rather comprehensive palette of Johnnie Walker blended whiskies. The new shade of success is called Johnnie Walker Platinum Label which, hope it doesn’t come as a surprise, contrary to the name sports a label made not of platinum but rather of paper painted a beautiful shiny hue of silver. Were the label made from actual platinum a bottle would have to cost significantly more than the quoted $80. And they would probably launch it in Harrods rather than New Delhi airport duty free.

What exactly is the difference between Johnnie Walker Gold and Johnnie Walker Platinum Label you may wonder. They seem to be offered at similar price and carry the same age statement, right? So, the difference is that Platinum Label is made with bits of real platinum sex panther (so you know it’s good) whereas Gold is made from barley and maize, the boring way. That’s what the press release says anyway*.

In the way of comment, all we can say is: Johnnie, la gente está muy loca!


*a horrible lie