anCnoc Peter Arkle competition!


It’s competition time here once again at EWB! This time we have one brand-spanking-new-hot-off-the-press bottle of whisky and a signed piece of fantastic artwork to give away to one lucky reader. Sound too good to be true? Wondering what the catch is? Stop being so bloody cynical and give us some credit. We’re just tremendously generous and utterly selfless chaps who have the fourth and final anCnoc Peter Arkle release to give away along with an artwork print signed by Peter himself! How did we manage to procure such items? No, not off the back of a lorry you cheeky scoundrels. Our equally generous and selfless friends at anCnoc are providing the prize for which we give huge thanks. Want to know more about Peter Arkle before you go any further? Then click here.

“But hold on”, I hear you say, “I thought there were only three Peter Arkle bottlings?”. Well, there were. Until yesterday. The fourth and final edition of the series was released yesterday and this is what’s up for grabs.

All we’re asking you to do is to come up with the funniest caption you can for the artwork below (which is one of Peter’s original pieces) and leave us a comment at the end of the article. When entering your caption you’ll also need to provide us with your full name, country of residence and a valid email address (which can go in the appropriate box during the submission process to keep it nice and private). Simple enough. Now get to it!

You need to be of legal drinking age where you live when you enter, reside somewhere on earth and generally make us laugh with your entries. The competition will close on Monday the 21st October and we’ll be announcing the winner on Tuesday the 22nd. For full T&Cs and other small print legal jargon, please click here. Good luck folks!




  1. Rover you really are mans best friend.

  2. I told my wife, I was going down the Dogs Head pub for a drink.

  3. “Jock realised that hair of the dog wasn’t quite what it was cracked up to be.”

  4. Just a reminder folks – you MUST enter a VALID EMAIL ADDRESS and your COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE when leaving a comment or your entry will not be valid.

    Good luck!


  5. ‘An exceptionally well balanced spirit!’

    - Richard Kuo of Scotland

  6. ‘Let’s both have a sit and stay’

  7. If we are allowed more than one submission, I just thought of another!

    ‘A man, his best friend, and dog’

  8. “Who said you can’t teach old dogs new tricks?”

    Mike Jackson – England

  9. “Honey, you did something funny with your head? pour me a dram anyways ;)

  10. See? This is just one more reason why I was right in fighting my wife’s wish for a cat.

  11. Dog of Knock is also willing to earn his keep. He’s not ferocious enough to be a Dog of Huntly.

    Chris Perugini – United States

  12. “Dad, this wasn’t what I expected when you said you were going to train me to be a working dog”

  13. “May be I should drink my AnCnoc from the bottle and let the dog balance the glass?”

    Brandt Brown, USA

  14. Careful now pooch, this dram has a bite to it.

  15. I told my wife I was heading down the Dogs Head pub for a drink.
    Adrian, England.

  16. A man’s best friend…and a dog

  17. “Worst. Unicorn impression. Ever.”

  18. Do not Cnoc off!

    Eli Bos
    The Netherlands

  19. “If all Rex wanted was a hug, then we’d all rush to help him, wouldn’t we? But the simple fact is that he really needs more than that – With your help and a generous donation of just £5 a month, we can help put a stop to this type of animal cruelty in Scotland. Please don’t let Rex down. No animal should have to suffer the indignity and pain of Ancnoc to the head…”

  20. So you think that’s clever Patch? Now let’s see you paw.

  21. Och aye, anCnoc! Dog days are here.

  22. Ah My dog Duke…you really are a good buddy…but I just can’t noc the fact this is truly man’s best friend.

  23. My last dog was a St Bernard, but I could not stand the bad drinks he was carrying around in the barrel around his neck. My new dog is serving me good stuff – nice drams of anCnoc!

  24. Some people were going to extreme lengths to avoid the new minimum pricing laws in Scotland.

  25. His date didn’t look quite as good the next morning… still she had whisky and a wet tongue so maybe things were looking up…

  26. Yes boy, you DO have to hold the bottle again. Who ever heard of a dog in a hammock.

  27. Now if I could just teach my wife to be this obedient…

  28. “Hold the drool, I take mine neat.”

  29. The dog is having a hard time and is thinking; … Steady …. Steady …. Don’t drop the gold .. just don’t drop the gold! Stop shaking …. don’t let them notice the shaking .. oh please, stop!

  30. “Right”, thought Dr Dolittle, “where’s that bloody cat gone with my cigar?”

  31. Look at the size of that dogs head. It’s like an orange on a toothpick. I’m not kidding, that dog’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Oh well at least I can set my anCnoc scotch on it. He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow.

    Jesse Fulton (USA)

  32. Dont move or you will spill my whisky , what an excellent dram.

  33. I don’t think we’re in Edinburgh anymore, Toto.

  34. I like my whisky shaken, not stirred

  35. ^^ from Belgium

  36. I hope you are going to bring a bottle of this delisiouse whisky to my grave when you visit me bobby

  37. How’s your day been Rover?


    Mark H – South Africa

  38. ‘The cat would not stand for this’

  39. Hair of the dog. Quality.

  40. Hair of the dog. Quality.


  41. A few more for good measure:

    ‘In response to recent reports of whisky thievery, Jack thought he had found a good solution.’

    ‘It’s interesting how this new bottle of whisky was more affordable than the coffee table his wife wanted.’

    ‘Jack was a laid back kind of shepherd; his dog was not.’

  42. Man’s Best Friend … and a dog!

  43. I know it’s good but I should have stopped at the 1st bottle. My doggie is now bringing me my drams and I seem to have acquired an extra finger.

  44. Shaky start for Dave’s latest attempt to pair up the English and Scotch.

  45. “This is so much more impressive than when you bring me the morning paper.”

  46. “This is so much more impressive than when you bring me the morning paper.”

    Joe Gratkowski – USA
    (I apologize, I forgot to include my Country last time)

  47. Doggy business? No way!!

  48. Edinburgh Zoo keepers celebrate a breakthrough in their Giant Panda programme, with novel scotch approach to interest them in mating…Woofer the Panda Fluffer.

  49. A Cnoc a day keeps the cats away… (is the dog thinking)

    BELGIUM – Impe

  50. An Cnoc a day keeps the cats away… (is the dog thinking)

    BELGIUM – Impe

  51. My dog and my AnCnoc…best divorce settlement ever #winning!!!

  52. Men’s best friend and liquid gold…. The perfect match for a well deserved vacation!


  53. I said “paw”, not “pour” ….but well done with your choice Whisky Shep.

  54. who says you cant teach an old dog new tricks???

  55. Woof, Trick or dram isn’t the way to show that I’m your best friend

  56. ‘After last night’s viewing of “Old Yeller”, Travis’ dog decided to make himself indispensable by dispensing something old and yellow.’

  57. ‘It was a complicated metaphor for life but the more Jack drank the more sense it made.’

  58. The competition is now closed – thanks to everyone who entered, we’ll notify the winner tomorrow!


  59. another misty day in auld reekie, Brian – Whisky Auctions Edinburgh

Leave a Reply

Anti-Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree