Monkey Shoulder Burns night à la Springfield


If there was not photographic evidence (or physical scarring – more on that in a bit…) then I would never have believed that the Monkey Shoulder Social Club Burns Supper had not been a dream. Hazmat suits, three-eyed-fish soup, human/greyhound races, Carolynn Cumhardy, radioactive haggis, lots of green shit and a stuffed polar bear…if anything that sounds more like a wacky episode of Lost than a traditional Burns supper. But then, when has Monkey Shoulder (a blended malt from William Grants made with Balvenie, Glenfiddich and Kininvie) really focused on tradition? They are always up for adding a cheeky wee twist. In this case we were not there to celebrate the life of Rabbie Burns, but instead to celebrate the life of one Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Schicklgruber Burns, Sr., AKA Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.

To be perfectly honest, it was one of the best Burns suppers I have ever had the pleasure of attending. For a full recap of the evenings events pop over and read Jake Mountains words on the Master of Malt Blog. I could relive it for you, but some of the memories from the night are still a little painful. First of all, apparently I look like this:

Sneaky, creepy and MASSIVE receders!

Secondly, have you ever tried to put on a hazmat suit over a kilt and sporran with a radiation alarm blaring in your ear? It is NOT smart, NOT easy and 100% not comfortable! My sporran burrowed into some sensitive areas that evening, and my kilt… let’s just not discuss where that disappeared too…

Not the comfiest way to wear a kilt. The legs were promptly ripped off. The suits, not mine…

Thirdly, human/greyhound races. Three people on their knees dressed as dogs (think the Simpsons Santa’s Little Helper), chasing a fourth person dressed as a bunny rabbit, whilst the surrounding crowd bet on the winner. But did I mention I was in a kilt? I won the race (and a bottle of Monkey Shoulder much needed for my Burns Night whisky sauce!!) but I lost every inch of skin on my knees. Seriously, it is three days later and I still struggle to bend those bad boys. A traditional carpet Burns night! (I have heard that joke about a million times now and I swear it hurts every time!).


Despite the pain, and inaccurate portrayals of my receding hairline, the Monkey Shoulder Burns night was great. If you want to throw a Burns night celebration then I can’t think of a better source of inspiration than the Monkey Shoulder supper. Whisky Cocktails, tasty haggis, dancing, games, other whisky cocktails, good people and more whisky (maybe in a cocktail?). That all makes for a great celebration of Burns. To help with your own Burns night why not try one of the Monkey Shoulder Mr. Burns night cocktails that we had. The first is a hot punch which will definitely impress the guests, the second was mighty, mighty tasty:



Warm, rich and perfect way to start a night.

200ml Monkey Shoulder
20ml Becherovka
60ml sugar syrup (made with zest)
60ml Fresh lemon Juice
4 dash Angostura Bitters
480ml boiling water

Zest all lemons add to sugar then add all other ingredients. Allow to cool then Garnish.


Clove studded Orange wheels and Lemon Wheels, also twist of orange tiny dust of nutmeg over each drink.


Refreshing, Vibrant and perfect once you have built up a sweat greyhound racing!


40ml Monkey Shoulder
30ml Montillado Sherry
30ml Lemon Juice
30ml Redcurrant syrup


Add all ingredients to shaker and shake well with ice. Strain into glass and add a dash of soda if you wish and garnish with redcurrants.


Long with soda water or in a coupe without

Or you could go for the pure and simple Monkey Shoulder, ginger and lime. It worked for me on Monday and hopefully it will work for you guys also. Whatever you decide to do, have a great Burns night, drink responsibly (but well!) and DO NOT get on your knees and race if you are in a kilt!


Graeme Gardiner


The Springfield Grace

We give thanks for food that’s placed
On Springfield dinner tables
As long as we enjoy the taste
We never read the labels

The Krusty Burgers that we chew
On which we squander dollars
The Lard Lad, brownies too
The additives and colours

For all the food we like to munch
The haggis we’ve had here
The meatloaf that we had for lunch
Washed down with cold Duff Beer


Book us for a tasting

Book Us For A Tasting! Looking for a whisky tasting experience? Look no further! We've hosted thousands of tastings catering for all budgets and themes. Let us tailor a bespoke whisky experience for you - click here or drop us a line now at!

Connect with us

Find us on Facebook!    Follow us on Twitter!    Follow us on Instagram!    Connect with me on LinkedIn!    Subscribe to us on YouTube!    Email us!   

Judging honours & awards

Icons of Whisky Communicator of the Year 2020            World Whiskies Awards Judge Spirit of Speyside Whisky Awards Judge         Independent Bottlers Challenge JudgeJudge Global Scotch Masters Judge           Scottish Whisky Awards Judge EWA Certificate                    EWA Diploma